Eye Gazing
A Sharing ritual for Connection
Photo: Kyle Kesterson
How to do it:
With your partner, take a minute to stretch and relax your bodies. Especially focus on your spine, neck and head. Contract and relax the muscles around these areas. Wiggle your jaw back and forth and side to side. Allow the muscles to become fully relaxed and fluid.
Optionally, you can create safety for the space by sharing, “Everything that you are is welcome in this space. Everything that you are proud of and everything that you are ashamed of is welcome here. If you are feeling great joy or peace, that is welcome here. If you are feeling fear or anxiety, that is also welcome here. Even if you are feeling nothing, if you are numb, that is welcome too. Whatever is real for you in the moment, welcome.”
Set a timer for 10 minutes. (Or your desired about)
Sit across from your partner, preferably cross-legged on a soft rug or cushion, arms-length apart.
Close your eyes, and begin to focus on your breathing. Allow yourself to breathe deeply, with a long inhale and a long exhale.
Open your lids and look into the eyes of the person in front of you. Let the muscles in your face and body respond naturally to whatever is occurring in the gaze. This isn’t a staring contest; blinking is allowed. No talking.
If you notice your eyes darting back and forth between eyes, pick on. It is recommended to look into the left eye (their left) of your partner. This is to their internal self.
At the end of the time close your eyes and spend some time connecting with yourself again, and noticing what is going on for you.
Then thank your parter with a hug, a bow, or a namaste.
Optional: Perhaps you will also like to share how that experience was for you.
Why do it:
Eye contact can be incredible confronting and incredibly powerful. Many of us avoid direct eye contact because it makes us feel vulnerable. Eye gazing is a tool that can be used to cultivate presence, deepen a bond, and explore what it feel like to truly see someone, and be seen. Various traditions identify different benefits of eye gazing meditations, some even considering it to be a path to Enlightenment.
When to do it:
Variable
How long it takes:
<5-20 mins
Materials Optional:
N/A